on art, science, happiness and knowledge...

I want to discuss whether science and technology bring happiness and also about the subjectivity of happiness, who is (or should be) considered to be happy, what should make us feel happy?

For most of us, happiness is what we expect from life. Even though happiness is a very subjective notion, we can agree on some common and more concrete things such as money, health, self-actualization etc. Let’s assume for a minute that these mainstream needs are what we look for in our lives.

We all know that a few thousand or even hundred years ago the living standards of people were much worse, life expectation was much lower, infant mortality was higher and so on (if you need a more comprehensive list, I think HDI parameters will do, just check them out). The thing is, even though we know the life expectation was lower back then, we cannot state that the people were (more) miserable. Happiness is a very subjective concept. If you have no idea how others are doing, there is no reason for you to feel unhappy. It's like being miserable about dying at the age of 95. Everybody would think you've lived more than enough. So you would be happy quite the opposite. But I am pretty sure that sometime in the future the life expectancy will be higher than 100. What I mean is science does not necessarily bring happiness. (Maybe art does: Self-Actualization. No one feels miserable just because a person expresses how s/he perceives her/his own life and own opinions, on the contrary you will find it inspiring, it will most likely cheer you up and we don't even need to argue about what artist feels about her/his expression.) (But neither art nor science is able to solve the current problems of the world completely. In order to solve big problems humanity is facing, we need much more than art or science. But we can discuss some other time what the main problem of humanity is and what we need to overcome those problems. Honestly, I have no idea how to save the world.)

Let's think of it this way. If it is considered to be normal and standard, it does not cause misery. Just as dying at the age of 85 is not a bad thing today. If the people living in poor regions of Africa (just as an example, not implying anything) had no idea about what the living conditions in Europe or U.S. are, they would not be unhappy, because they would think it was normal and common. Assume 5000 years ago half of the babies born died. Would you feel miserable if your child died back then? I think you wouldn't, because it happened to everybody. The reason why life in economically undeveloped regions is such a misery is that it is way below standards in other developed countries. However, the things we do not know about cannot contribute to how we feel. And yes we should consider ourselves very lucky since we have computers and the possibility to express our opinions online. But again lucky compared to the people living in poor standards. Unless people start to feel unhappy all of a sudden just because of living in 2011 and not in 3011 (a life which we have no idea about, hence, in theory, cannot upset us) we cannot be sure that science and technology brings happiness.

So we came to a conclusion that happiness is defined by what we see other people are doing, which, for most of us, is supposed to be the ultimate goal of human life. But if it is that subjective and just a way of perception, perhaps we should discuss why happiness comes from e.g. substance abuse is considered as a delusion. If someone is detached from reality and yet happy we just condescend or pity and certainly do not dignify that. The fact behind this is that happiness without being close to the reality does not worth anything. The question also arises what the reality is. My answer would be reality is objectivity. The more objective it is, the more real it gets. Thus, feeling of happiness, (from now on I am going to call it "feeling of happiness" because it is based on subjective perceptions, not on reality and is nothing more than a feeling which you can alter it in any way you like) alone, cannot be the ultimate goal of human life. The more we know, the more we experience, the more possible for us not to live in a delusion. So, we need knowledge to achieve this feeling of happiness which is not just a delusion. Maybe we should stop doing what makes us "happy" and just start looking for the truths around us, in our lives, in our universe. Sounds really weird if it's put that way, right?

Pursuit of happiness is actually nothing but a blindfold, not to admit ourselves we have no idea what we live for -- just like religion. It is just a combination of hormones, neurotransmitters and synapses etc. and nothing more. We have to find better goals in our lives immediately not to waste it. We are here just for a limited time and we should somehow make it count.

We should also discuss whether knowledge and feeling of happiness are correlated. According to a common belief (I don't mean that the following is not true. But unless it is somehow proved, it is nothing more than a belief or a hypothesis if you like.) "Ignorance is bliss". Is it really? If knowledge and feeling of happiness contradict, we are facing a big problem that could mean life is meaningless and more importantly all the hedonists (delusion is fine by them) and nihilists (dying is fine by them) won! Even it is just a delusion; we all need it to go on with our lives. But, in theory, I cannot see any reason why knowledge should bring misery. We certainly know that awareness may bring some kind of discomfort since there are lots of things happening around us which upset us in some fashion. But shouldn't there also be things which we are happy to be aware of? Is the world such a desperate place? What about what being aware itself makes us feel? Knowing that what we feel is actually closer to the reality and less delusional? I honestly don't know the answers. But what I am sure about is that we really should not only concentrate on the things in life, which makes us fell "happy", but also try to be aware of everything possible and know as much as we can. We should compromise on our joyful feelings.

A note to me: next time write something about pursuit of everlastingness

about the moment you die

A few days back, I was having a couple of drinks with friends and we were talking about random stuff. Then we started talking about a documentary we watched together. It was about euthanasia and it was very interesting. We were kinda moved when we watched a man die by an assisted suicide, who was suffering from ALS. He had to drink some mixture to die. Everything was going as planned: the place/time of death, his last meal, the song he wants to listen... Obviously everything was arranged how he wished to be. But the guy who assists him forgot to tell him one thing: that the mixture tastes very bad. After he drank the mixture, he had this awful taste in his mouth and he asked desperately for apple juice - he literally begged. It was really touching. He was going to die in a couple of minutes and he had the worst taste in his mouth. Anyway, we were telling each other how we felt and one of my friends said that he would definitely prefer heroin if he wanted to kill himself. He would be high and he wouldn't notice anything and he would die peacefully from OD. At first, it kinda made sense. But when I thought about this more and tried somehow to imagine (I tried to do my best) what it's like to kill yourself, to end your life on purpose, I felt different. I am not talking about momentarily breakdowns and impulsive suicides. I am talking about euthanasia. A person who suffers so much that she/he thinks it through and decides to end her/his life.. We certainly hear about euthanasia but to feel what they are going through is not that easy. Well, after I gave it a thought, I decided that I would definitely not want to die while I am high. I mean seriously, this is my death, last moments of my life and I really don't want to die without being able to realize what is going on. OK, I certainly don't want to suffer or be in much pain alright, but, to me dying without being aware of it is dumping your life like it is a garbage. Is that what my life means to me? This is the only thing I've had and I should at least be aware of the moment I am losing it. I mean, to me, death is as important as life. They would not exist without each other, they are complementary. While I was thinking about these, I also imagined that I was purposely ODing on heroin to kill myself. It was so weird. I start crying my eyes out and wish to undo it right after I did the injection and regret what I did. Not because I was going to die, but because I feel so lost and empty that I would die without being aware of it as if my life meant nothing. It was a really strange feeling.

Nobel prize 2010 winners in physics are announced...

Nobel Prize 2010 winners in physics are announced and it's about nanoelectronics which happens to be my area of interest. The winners, two Russian-European (wait a second, Russia is in Europe right? Kidding. One is russian-dutch, the other is russian-british) physicists, are awarded with Nobel Prize for their contribution to the graphene research. But what is graphene? It's not in dictionaries yet, I suppose, as my spell checker keeps underlying graphene (again!) when I finish typing the word. Graphene is a planar structure composing of only carbon atoms bounded with conjugated pi-Bonds (sp2 hybrid bonds). In other words, its a single layer of graphite (what we use in pencils), which is actually nothing but an ordered structure of graphene layers on top of each other attracted by van der Waals Bonds. The single layer graphite -- graphene has fascinating electrical properties such as very high mobility and 2 dimensional charge carrier profile (2-DEG), allowing new device concepts which might be very useful in the future. We are definitely going to see some exotic devices using graphene in our every day life. I mean not like super coffee machines and flying cars but maybe energy efficient faster switching transistors. It's a deserved win.

(read it with the voice of kristen bell)


well well...

nerdy boy, spotted with his white shirt and fancy jacket.
slightly drunk, can't hide his big smile on his way home at midnight

but it isn't hard tell where this euphoria comes from

jara-fit community wanted to host a dinner for his birthday and here is what was on the menu:

Arrangement von Riesengarnelen und Lachs auf Salatbouquet der Saison besprenkelt mit Tannenwipfelnhönigdressing
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Steinpilzsuppchen mit Parmesanschaum und dem Besten von Wachtel am Spieß
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Schweinemedaillons an Madagaskarpfeffersauce serviert mit Marojankartoffeln und Preiselbeeren-Rotkrautarrangement im Schmorapfel
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Panna Cotta mit Himbeereragout serviert mit Obstsalat und Sorbeteis

and chatting with physicists who've taken classes from the winners of nobel prize 2010 in physics when they were students back in russia

not to forget that his once-upon-a-time assistant being the winner of poster contest with €1000 award

no one could imagine that "best bday ever" would be the words coming out of nerdy boy's mouth.

who said it's boring to be a nerdy student with ambitions?

xoxo gossip girl

the people i've met and threw away - or being thrown away

I've been recently thinking that we actually consume the people we've met. I am talking about the people, who you've talked just a couple of times, met totally randomly and after some time you forget that they even exist. There are tons of such people, who I wanted to somehow keep in touch with, because I really liked them. But after this thing is over (some occasion, doesn't matter), I never saw them or contacted them. I feel like I'm using (or being used like) a disposable battery and throwing it away (or thrown away). I have absolutely no idea if people are feeling the same way and there is nothing I can do. I don't want to be some sticky person who doesn't let go and makes a big deal about every friend she makes. That would repel the others, wouldn't it? Well, I think it would and that's why I can do nothing about it. I've been trying to contact these people, making effort to be nice and friendly within the borders of casualness (maybe sometimes not even though I try), without seeming like crazy or needy or desperate, but they just don't care. I also thought that the reason why people don't want to (I don't think that they specifically don't want to see me again, they just don't give a damn) or at least don't try to keep in touch is maybe my attitude in the first place causing people to stay away. I also gave this thought a try and just didn't do anything, acted cool and wanted to see what will happen. Well the result is not very surprising: nothing happened. So, I came to a conclusion that people just don't care. Or I am not likable. Either way, this makes me kind of sad.